Is She Out of His League?

You see it all the time, and every time you ask yourself, “how the fuck did that guy score that girl?” I’d be lying if I said there was one finite reason, but lets go over a few possible scenarios.

1. Hot women are just that: women. They have the same thoughts running through their heads as everyone else. They question themselves, have insecurities, and they are conditioned to dealing with douchebag guys. Just because they are hot, does not make them girlfriend material. These girls can have weird hobbies, sense of humor, or just be plain awkward. So when you see them with a guy who is awkward, you can almost bet the girl is awkward herself. It is also important to remember that girls place values in other things than looks, they can be attracted to a guy because he can sing, dance or because he’s hilarious.

2. They have been together since high school. In high school girls are not pretty and guys are little dweebs. It’s a perfect match at the time, and as the high school girls mature into beautiful women sometimes their male counterpart remains looking like a little kid. The feelings of love were there before she turned into a smoke show. Now the only question is how will she deal with all the new male attention she receives for being a rocket ship.

3. Women who continually get screwed over and played around with by men start to build resentment towards men in general. They often lose their confidence after questionable past relationships where they dated Captain Douchebag. This has lead the women to look for different qualities in men. Suddenly now the nerdy guy from her history class has some appeal.

4. Women who have just moved often have limited social circles. Once they start to hangout in a particular social circle they may only get to know the guys in that particular circle. She’s new to town, she doesn’t want to be lonely, so she gets to know a nice guy who is not very visually stimulating.

These are only a few reasons. Below are related links

Never Ending Relationship You Shouldn’t Be In

High School Sweethearts to College Enemies

Calling to Texting to Tweeting.

When was the day that it became weird to call someone on the phone after meeting them? It has become the norm to text each other sporadically in hopes that you may hangout one day. The problem with texting is simple, there is no tone behind what you are saying. Texts like, “Sounds good,” can be misinterpreted and completely thrown out of context. How many times have you exchanged numbers with someone only to have nothing come of it because of basically a lack of effort. Is it a lack of effort, or a lack of balls completely? Sending a text to a girl you just met is easy, you are not put on the spot, you usually have your best friend acting as a co-author, and you aren’t tied into an immediate conversation. The truth is, as easy as texting may be, it really is a cop-out for calling a person. People don’t want to put themselves on the spot or here the words, “Oh I can’t hang out because of (insert excuse here).” The build up isn’t as grand and the fall isn’t as hard when you send a text. I once met a girl who after talking for about an hour suggested that I add her on Facebook and we go from there. Why in my right mind would I take a step backwards? I have already met you in person, talked for a while and now the next step is posting on your Facebook wall like the rest of the jabronis from your highschool? It would have been easy to accept the Facebook invite and become one of her 500 friends on Facebook. However, is it really my intention to talk once and then become Facebook friends? I recently had a girl tell me to follow her on twitter….I think it is way more intrusive to give away your Facebook/twitter and allow someone the ability to take a glance at your accomplishments, family, pictures, and recent activity. Leave something to the imagination, a little mystery never hurt anyone.

Now you could argue and tell me that texting is less intrusive than calling and I wouldn’t argue back. I will say that just texting puts you in the same league of guys that she meets every weekend. If you text your way to a First Date and all goes well why don’t you try calling her after that? Though you may be awesome, you are not Casa Nova and if you’re wondering; yes she has been on dates with other men and yes she could be possibly dating other men at the moment. Calling after you have hung out will not make her like you, but it will at the very least make you different. Different stands out, and standing out is what you’re trying to accomplish. If you are confident enough to ask a woman out, why can’t you be confident enough to call her?

If you text a girl and she doesn’t respond, THAT DOES NOT MEAN TO CALL HER! She could have responded, but she didn’t, do not become the desperate looking guy that she and her friends all laugh about. Also, for bbm users, if you send a message and she reads it but doesn’t respond, DO NOT FREAK OUT. She is not living her life around your every move, and it might take her a second to get back to you. It might be hard to believe but some girls are not glued to their phones at all times; they have lives they are living too.

That’s my rant for the day, click below for a related article on Drunk Texting that was written a few months back.

Art of the Drunk Text

The Pestering Ex.

It’s been two years since you got out of the shitstorm that you called a relationship. You are over your ex, you found someone new who is actually good for you. There’s only one problem….You’re ex isn’t quite over you and is now starting to resemble the creepy guy/girl you see every morning at the bus stop. The Pestering Ex had all of your attention when you were together, and they took you for granted. In their mind, they still believe that they can get you back with creepy/desperate ditch efforts. It’s easy to say something like, “you don’t know what you’ve got, until it’s gone,” or “people want what they can’t have,” but how about this for a slogan, “You pissed yourself, now get on with life.”The Pestering Ex may initiate contact in what seems to be a non-threatening way with something like, “Hey, I hope everything is going well and your family is alright, what are you up to these days?” You should delete this message! It reads friendly, however, it means something completely different like, “You were the best thing that ever happened to me, please take me back.” If you decide to start talking to your ex you will definitely jeopardize your existing relationship. Most adults should be comfortable with their partner both having girl and guy friends, however, a recent ex should not fly. You are not trying to make your ex happy, you are trying to make your existing partner happy, so make a logical choice when it comes to responding. If the Pestering Ex does not continue to pursue further, then you are lucky. Usually following the seemingly harmless message comes the more desperate confession of all their flaws and how they have changed. If you are in the same social circle, all you have to do is count the days before you run into each other drunk and they spill their heart again.

It Gets better, when you are single but they still believe that you are together. Recently one of my friends Mark (fake name). was talking to a girl named Susan(also a fake name) about doing business together. They’re Facebook messages were strictly professional and did not indicate anything further than a professional relationship. Little did Mark know that Susan had recently broken up with her boyfriend and he was logging into her Facebook to check her messages. I’m not going to get started on how weird, creepy and insecure this is, I will let you know what he did next though. He sent a tough guy message from his own Facebook telling Mark to watch his back and that he should leave Susan alone if he knows whats good for him. Mark messaged Susan and said , “Hey your BF is a little overprotective and I don’t think business together will be appropriate at this time.” Susan messages back and strictly states that she is single and that her ex will not be prying into her life anymore.” This comes as great news to Mark as he did not want to lose a potential client, though two days later the ex boyfriend shows up dressed like a hipster version of eminem from 8 mile at the bar we are partying at. He made it awkward, he didn’t approach us to say anything, he just stared. I had no idea who this guy was so as I leaned into Mark and asked him who the special needs Vanilla Ice was, he responded, “Susan’s crazy ex.”

5 Reasons to Make Her Your Girlfriend

So you have been seeing a girl for a while and she poses the question, “What are we?” Now before you rush to answer you should know a few things. Women like to have clear definitions when it comes to relationships. Men don’t really care for the definitions, they care more about what is actually going on between themselves and the girl they are pursuing. Relationships can be scary, great, or any adjective you want really. People have the tendency to close themselves off from relationships, “I am focusing on doing me,” “I just want to have fun.” In a relationship you should be able to, “do you,” and it should definitely be fun. Here are 5 reasons you should shut up already and make her your girlfriend.

1. She has her own life – In relationships a girl should be part of your life, not all of your life and vice versa. There is nothing more unattractive than a woman who considers you the best thing going on in her life. You may be awesome, but she shouldn’t put her life on hold for you. A woman who has her own ambitions and goals that she is striving towards is very attractive. Her having her own life, friends, and goals allows for you to have your own life. This is the part of the relationship that still allows both of you to, “do you.” Being with someone who has the same mindset can make for a much smoother relationship.

2. She is Drama Free – I love HBO, they produce some great television shows. What I enjoy about these TV shows is that the drama is happening to someone else other than me. Unnecessary drama just creates unnecessary stress. Lets not be naive, every girl has baggage, it’s just a matter of what girls baggage you can carry comfortably. Finding a girl who doesn’t get mad about everything you do, or read into every text you send is the key. This section could have been named, “make sure she’s not crazy as fuck,” but that would have been pretty self-explanatory.

3. She can handle your friends – This might be the most important reason to make her your girlfriend. You don’t want to have to keep your girlfriend separate from your friends. You want to be able to have both in the same room and not fear WWIII breaking out. A girl who can get along with your friends is probably cool enough to date. You also have to make sure that she can handle her alcohol at the club. Just when you think a girl is girlfriend material, she can get ruin it all by being a drunk mess hanging off of everyone. Make sure you hold her hand if she holds her liquor.

4.She is confident in and out of the bedroom – Every single person has insecurities and in a relationship it is your job to help the other person get over theirs. A woman that doesn’t second guess herself when she speaks, stands up for herself, and knows what she wants out of her life is very attractive. If your girl can carry that confidence into the bedroom you have hit the lottery. An assertive woman who is comfortable with her body allows for a fun and healthy relationship.

5.She is into you, not into what you can give her – She may look pretty, she may smell great, she may be dressed to the 9’s all the time, but most importantly she may just want your money. I am talking about girls that do nothing but take from a relationship. Finding a girl who is attracted to you because you are awesome is what you want, not because you drive a nice car. The girl who’s into you is the one that doesn’t care where you go for dates because you’re going to have fun doing whatever. The girl who’s into what you can give her will not have fun unless there are $ signs everywhere. Make sure she is a sweet heart and not a materialistic Barbie.

Next time she asks you, “What are we?’ You should have an answer!

High School Sweet Hearts to College Enemies

I was told once, friends can become lovers, but lovers can never become friends.

It’s high school, you’ve just entered you first real relationship and its great! You walk around the school together at lunch, sneak around your parents house just to get to 2nd base, basically  living out any teenage movie of your choosing. You talk on the phone for hours (adults don’t have time to talk on the phone for 4 hours about nothing), You have sex (you both suck at it) and you sit in each others arms talking about how great it’s going to be in college/university.

The part you forgot to mention was, how great university is going to be without the other person. When you are in highschool you are forced to be in the same building as your girlfriend for 6 hours a day. This makes seeing each other mandatory and therefore easy. Once you get into the first semester of university you try to take similar classes, and hangout together as much as possible, but the fact of the matter is you’re becoming different people. Maybe she likes to study and you are just discovering the greatness that is beerpong, or maybe you are the loyal boyfriend and she is loving all the new attention she is getting from 3rd and 4th years. The plan is never to have a monumental breakup, but shit happens right.

Spring comes and after a questionable reading week that you both spent at different cottages/cabins/parties the relationship is in question. The usual line is something like, “I feel like I don’t know anything else and I need to experience that.” AKA – I want to have sex with other people or, “I feel like if we are ment for each other it will happen down the road,” AKA – I want to have sex with other people.

If the breakup goes sour and you share mutual friends…Buckle up, because the he say, she say is about to errupt. Once you both delete each others numbers and remove each other as FB friends you may think the cleanse is finished. You’re wrong! You still have the awkward moment where you see them with their new partner. All you want to know is that you’re beating them, at whatever messed up game you are playing. You will act like everything in your life is the greatest thing ever, and its never been better. You may think that you could possibly be friends again but that is only going to lead to awkward situation where one of you goes for a drunken kiss or you end up hooking up. The morning of awkwardness to follow is sure to be entertaining to say the least.

The fact of life is everyone has one that got away and everyone has one that they hate. Hopefully they aren’t the same person.

The Never Ending Relationship You shouldn’t Be In

How comfortable is being comfortable?

You may have been dating for 6 months or 6 years, but the relationship has turned into nothing but bickering and constant fighting. These fights are usually followed by extreme highs. This is what one of my friends coined as, “Relationship Heroin.” It’s just a metaphor to show that you will put up with almost any bullshit to get back to the emotional high with your significant other. This can be okay if the highs outweigh the lows, and the highs happen a lot more than the lows. However, in reality most people continually take it on the chin until they get dumped by the person treating them poorly.

There comes a breaking point with relationships where logic has to trump emotion. The feelings for someone can be so strong that they act as blinders. How wrapped up you have gotten into one person has blinded you from what is actually acceptable behaviour or not. You said you’d never date a smoker, and now you are sucking face with someone who smokes 2 packs a day. You said that you wouldn’t play games and now you are in the bottom of the 9th with 2 out facing a full count. Why? What is so special about this person? In reality they are probably pretty average, you have just taken all the good qualities and blown them out of proportion. They may have been nice before, they may know some of your deepest secrets and they might get along with your parents, but they treat you like shit. Or there is the vice versa, they treat you amazing, but they are up on serious felony charges, unemployed, or clinically insane. Pick your poison. Maybe it’s time to be single for a bit? Yes you got along great with this person at one point, and you may be scared you won’t find that compatibility with anyone else. The truth is he/she is just a girl/guy and there are a lot of good people walking around who will probably be better for you.

It amazes me to see the amount of people who stay in a relationship just for the sake of it. They hold onto how things were when the relationship was all sunshine and smiles. Now its pissing rain out, lightning is coming from the sky as if Zeus was hurling it himself and they are still there thinking about the sunshine. Get out of the storm, dry out your clothes and look forward to a better sunrise.

The First Date

Maybe it was the club, maybe it was through friends, shit maybe it was through plentyoffish.com. Wherever you met, you’ve talked enough to work yourself into a first date…Lucky you. That part was easy, when you were in the club you were drunk in an environment where it’s conducive to meeting people. When you were introduced as friends there was no pressure and you had your friend making you out to be a “stud,” or a “sweetheart.” When you were online you had time to think out the perfect response to every question that made you seem interested but not desperate. This is all in the past now, and you are at the first date.

There is added pressure and value put into the first date. For the first time, two people who partied together, hung out in a group of friends, or chatted online are now going to dedicate an hour or two of time to each other. What to wear? How to do your hair? What will we do? Will they like me? All of these questions can be very daunting. A lot of the time its just easier for you to make up some excuse not to hang out. It’s not that you don’t like the person, it’s just that a date seems like a giant production, but is it really? Most people equate a first date to something they saw out of a movie or the bachelor. This isn’t real life, and a night packed with extravagance will probably scare the shit out of the other person. If you take a girl to the CN tower for dinner and wine, then proceed to sing a song to her, chances are she’s going to try and find a way to jump out of that giant tower. When you met this person you weren’t out in an extravagent settting, it was probably on a sweaty dance floor or at some boring christmas party. You weren’t worried about what you  were wearing, how your hair was or what your next move was. They are going to hang out with you so pick out a shirt, do your hair how you normally do it and go have a good time. Why don’t you go for something normal, this excludes going to the movies. Movies are for people already in a relationship and have ran out of things to talk about. Go to a coffee shop, go for icecream, shit just go for a walk in the city. It doesn’t matter what you do, either you are going to click or not. The second guessing is all for not. You got that person to agree to the first date, that means they like you. It is your job to not to anything weird or creepy, just carry the conversation and move on to date #2. When it comes down to it, it’s just two people hanging out. Why do you have to make it more than it is?

Good luck on Date 2.