It’s been two years since you got out of the shitstorm that you called a relationship. You are over your ex, you found someone new who is actually good for you. There’s only one problem….You’re ex isn’t quite over you and is now starting to resemble the creepy guy/girl you see every morning at the bus stop. The Pestering Ex had all of your attention when you were together, and they took you for granted. In their mind, they still believe that they can get you back with creepy/desperate ditch efforts. It’s easy to say something like, “you don’t know what you’ve got, until it’s gone,” or “people want what they can’t have,” but how about this for a slogan, “You pissed yourself, now get on with life.”The Pestering Ex may initiate contact in what seems to be a non-threatening way with something like, “Hey, I hope everything is going well and your family is alright, what are you up to these days?” You should delete this message! It reads friendly, however, it means something completely different like, “You were the best thing that ever happened to me, please take me back.” If you decide to start talking to your ex you will definitely jeopardize your existing relationship. Most adults should be comfortable with their partner both having girl and guy friends, however, a recent ex should not fly. You are not trying to make your ex happy, you are trying to make your existing partner happy, so make a logical choice when it comes to responding. If the Pestering Ex does not continue to pursue further, then you are lucky. Usually following the seemingly harmless message comes the more desperate confession of all their flaws and how they have changed. If you are in the same social circle, all you have to do is count the days before you run into each other drunk and they spill their heart again.
It Gets better, when you are single but they still believe that you are together. Recently one of my friends Mark (fake name). was talking to a girl named Susan(also a fake name) about doing business together. They’re Facebook messages were strictly professional and did not indicate anything further than a professional relationship. Little did Mark know that Susan had recently broken up with her boyfriend and he was logging into her Facebook to check her messages. I’m not going to get started on how weird, creepy and insecure this is, I will let you know what he did next though. He sent a tough guy message from his own Facebook telling Mark to watch his back and that he should leave Susan alone if he knows whats good for him. Mark messaged Susan and said , “Hey your BF is a little overprotective and I don’t think business together will be appropriate at this time.” Susan messages back and strictly states that she is single and that her ex will not be prying into her life anymore.” This comes as great news to Mark as he did not want to lose a potential client, though two days later the ex boyfriend shows up dressed like a hipster version of eminem from 8 mile at the bar we are partying at. He made it awkward, he didn’t approach us to say anything, he just stared. I had no idea who this guy was so as I leaned into Mark and asked him who the special needs Vanilla Ice was, he responded, “Susan’s crazy ex.”