With Springtime approaching fast I just wanted to send out a public service announcement regarding the wearing of the Alien Sun glasses. Maybe you think I don’t have fashion sense for attacking these Ginormous glasses that guys and girls are wearing now, but I am going to do it anyway. Everyone has seen the infomercial on the “HD Wraparound” glasses and how they are the best thing to ever touch your face. Well you thought they looked ridiculous correct? Now I want you to go and look at your Chanel sunglasses and picture them without all the rhinestone, and Voila!! HD Wraparounds at your service.
Walk with me. It’s a hot sunny day and you are walking down Yonge/Robson street and you see a girl who at first glance you are attracted to. As you approach you think to yourself, wow that girl is beautiful. As she inches closer, her face begins to clear up and….Wham all you see is massive glasses. Lets say you actually talk to her, you are not going to know if you are attracted to this person until they take those glasses off. Call that shallow, call that whatever you want, but the truth of the matter is that you have to be attracted to someone for things to go further. I would rather know what that person looks like within 5 minutes of talking to them, over setting up a date and then being blown back because the person I goto meet looks completely different with her face exposed. Constantly I am tricked by these glasses into thinking someone looks like something or someone else. Well Hell, I look like Brad Pitt if you only see my Ears too. The combination of these glasses matched with Lulu Lemon or TNA pants that are a size to small is just ridiculous. I don’t care about what brand your alien glasses are or how much they cost. It doesn’t make you cool to wear $500 dollar glasses with lenses the size of small eating plates. Hey ladies I know it may seem a bit harsh, but It’s only my opinion…and every other guys.
Enough with the Girls, they’re beautiful. Guys, how the hell is it cool/functional to wear sunglasses at night and to the bar. Look I know your awesome man, I can smell your cologne as soon as I enter the establishment, but you did you really have to wear a cut off shirt and mirrored aviator glasses? First question, what possessed you to do biceps for a straight month then wear a cut off shirt in public? Second Question and really the one I want answered, How the hell do you see anything in a dark club with sunglasses on? You wonder why the Jersey Shore cast is always running into “Grenades,” it is because they took wearing beer goggles to a whole new level. They actually put them on right after T-Shirt time. I thought regular people didn’t do this, but I was wrong. The amount of douchebags that wear sunglasses to the bar is on the up. I’m sure that girls have the same resentment towards guys hiding half of their faces in an already complection friendly dark bar. Do these guys sleep with the glasses on in their Ed Hardy pajamas?
I Guess the Sun Never Sets When You are Cool.